Her Shattered Heart
by Warui-Usagi
Summary: [Hiatus] With the imminent threat of Tidus' disappearance looming overhead, Yuna’s world is thrown into chaos as she is forced to make a heart wrenching decision that will ultimately decide their future together as a couple. R&R!
1. Inner Struggles

**Her Shattered Heart Chapter 1-Inner Struggles**

The Celsius flew through the clear sky at what seemed like an agonizingly slow pace. The young sphere hunter sat on her bed, staring blankly out onto the world that lay below, her heart racing with excitement. She had received constant assurance from both Brother and Buddy that the ship was firing along at full capacity and could not be pushed any further otherwise the ship would indeed overheat and crash, killing everybody instantly the moment it came into contact with the ground.

Yuna gave out an exasperated sigh as she continued to watch the peaceful happenings of the people below. She knew that the ship was going fast enough, but at the same time her whole world seemed to be running in slow motion. She wanted to get home…**now**. She desperately wanted to see _him _again and yet, at the same time, she didn't. She was furious with Tidus for what he had done. Why didn't he tell her he was going to fade away? She could have saved him! Then she wouldn't have had to put herself through two excruciatingly painful years without him by her side. He had also broken his two promises he had made to Yuna over the duration of her pilgrimage.

'_Not until the end…always'_

'_Just whistle and I'll come running…I promise'_

'_Liar…'_

But then, why was she hurrying? If she was that angry with him, why bother rushing? The Fayth had said that they would do everything they can…that didn't necessarily mean that he would be there when she returned. For all Yuna knew, she may even have to wait another year before she ever saw him again. All of a sudden, she found herself fighting a one on one battle with her conflicting emotions as they both sliced away at her already wounded heart.

'_It's better to be hopeful…isn't it? I really do want to see him again…' _

_Do you really want to see him again after he's lied to you?'_

'_I love him…'_

'_But he lied to you…he hurt you.'_

'_He didn't mean it…he wouldn't have intentionally lied to me…would he?' _

'_If he knew that he was going to disappear then why didn't he tell you?_

'_He didn't want to hurt me…that's all…'_

'_He would have told you if he loved you…'_

'_He does love me!'_

'_How do you know if he even reciprocated your feelings? You told him that you loved him but he never replied did he? So how do you know then?'_

'_B-But he kissed me…that night in Macalania Spring…that proves he loves me doesn't it?_

'_How do you know he kissed by mistake? He might have only kissed you to make you stop crying.'_

'_No…you're wrong! He wouldn't do that to me! He wouldn't toy with my feelings like that…would he?'_

…

'_**WOULD HE**?' _

"Would he…?" Yuna asked herself out loud as tears began forming at the corners of her eyes.

"Would he what? Who's he?"

Yuna jumped when she heard the other voice, and whipped around rapidly to see who had interrupted her silent struggle.

"Paine? What…what are you doing here?" She asked breathlessly.

"Well obviously…I came to tell you that we're arriving in Besaid shortly." She almost turned to walk away, but upon seeing the gloomy expression on Yuna's face she immediately began to worry.

"Yuna…are you okay? You look upset, is something wrong?" She lowered herself onto the bed gently and faced her troubled looking friend who was huddled in a ball and clutching a pillow to her chest tightly.

"I'm fine," she said, her voice carrying little conviction.

"I don't think you are…nobody does in fact. You haven't been yourself since after you left the Farplane. What happened out there anyway? You took your time in coming back."

"I-it's nothing…"

"Well it's obviously not…but I can't force you to talk about it if you don't want to. I just want to let you know though, if you ever need to talk things over I would be more then willing to lend an ear." She eased herself up slowly of the bed, and turned to her back towards the former summoner.

"Thank-you Paine, but I'm fine really," Yuna said this time with genuine gratitude.

"Whatever you say…" And with that one final comment, Paine began back towards the bridge

Yuna watched the young warrior leave, and as soon as the doors shut, and Yuna was sure that she was alone once again (save for Barkeep) she went dived back into her thoughts once again, losing herself in their complicated maze of non-sensual banter. She anxiously sought closure after he previous battle with herself, but was finding it increasingly difficult to come up with a solution. Every time she came up with what she thought was proof of how much Tidus did actually care about her, another argument would rear its ugly head, shattering her previous ideal to pieces, leaving her with even more unanswered questions then she had to begin with. Yuna eventually came to the conclusion that the only person who could give her the reassurance that she so urgently craved could only come from one person…Tidus.

But would she get it?

What if she was right in thinking that he didn't really love her?

What would she do then?

Would he even be there?

Unfortunately, negative thoughts began involuntary forcing themselves into her mind, almost to the point where she was overwhelmed. She shook her head violently in an attempt to shake them all out, all the while telling herself that everything would be alright. Besides, there was no point in getting worked up about the whole problem until she had actual asked him. As she gradually came to this realization, her body seemed to relax. The nagging thoughts stopped and her heart beat and breathing seemed to return to normal…only to return to dangerously high levels seconds later when her eyes caught the sight of the quickly approaching Besaid on the horizon.

Yuna's eyes scanned the shoreline frantically for any signs of life and eventually came to rest on one lonely figure. At first she thought that it may have been Wakka taking his daily afternoon stroll along the beach, but upon closer inspection, she noticed that he had sandy colored trusses they were shining brightly, reflecting the sun…in an instant she knew who it was.

Yuna gasped, she was so delighted and dumfounded at the sight of him, all of her worries seemed to evaporate into thin air. All too soon, she was overflowing with happiness, and found herself running as fast as her legs could take her down towards the engine room. She was so caught up in the initial excitement of his reappearance; the nagging thought of whether or not he loved her seemed of the smallest insignificance to her right now.

The airship landed in the soft sand with a **thud**, and Yuna's hands immediately began mashing away at the 'release' button on the door repeatedly until it slowly began to give way. Unable to wait for the platform to lower completely, Yuna jumped out and landed with ease into the shallow water. As soon as she regained her balance, she began into a frantic lunge towards him, opening her arms wide, anxiously awaiting the warmness of Tidus' embrace.

But as she ran, the image of what happened last time she threw herself at him played repeatedly and relentlessly before her eyes in what seemed like slow motion. At that moment, all of her worries and fears came rushing furiously to the surface of her mind, sending her into panic.

'_He's leaving me…no…no he can't!' _

_She ran as fast as she could towards him, Kimahri called out after her._

'_Yuna!'_

_She fell through him, onto the cold, hard, metal surface below…_

'_No…this can't be happening, this has to be a bad dream! He can't leave me, I won't…I won't let…'_

'_Not again…Oh please Yevon not again!_'

'_Tidus…you promised…you promised 'always'_

'_You lied…you didn't come running when I whistled…'_

'_you promised…you lied'_

'_**YOU LIED**!'_

"Yuna? What's wrong?" Tidus crouched down to her squirming form in the water, and gently sat her up. As he turned her to face him, he realized she was now trembling.

"Yuna! Snap out of it!" He tried to shake her, hoping that it would also stop the constant mumbling.

"I'm right here! **STOP IT NOW!**" He screamed in panic, enveloping her in a frenetic embrace. With that, Yuna's nightmare seemed to vanish before her eyes as her vision slowly returned to the serene sound of the ocean…and the feel of his warmth.

"T-Tidus?" Yuna questioned him in disbelief; he pulled away and met her puzzled gaze.

"Thank the Lord! Are you okay? You were really scaring me there!" Instead of responding, Yuna threw her arms almost painfully around his waist as she buried her face in his chest and began to cry.

Although he was shocked at first by her reaction, his expression softened and he simply let her cry it all out as he gingerly stroked her hair.

As soon as she seemed to calm down, Tidus picked her up in his arms, causing Yuna to yelp a little in shock. He looked down at her, an alarmed expression now apparent on her face. He laughed. "Don't worry, I just didn't want you to catch a cold that's all," he assured her quietly. He turned and began towards the shore…as soon as Yuna spotted Lulu and Wakka's suggestive looks she blushed madly, realizing how silly she must have looked to everyone. As soon as Tidus stepped out of the shadow of the airship completely, the couple was met with screams, cheers and whistles from the **_entire_** population of Besaid who were all clamoring to get a good view of the two of them. Yuna seriously thought her head was going to turn into a tomato she must have been blushing that much.

As soon as he arrived on the beach, Tidus placed the incredibly embarrassed Yuna back down on the sand. He laughed when he saw how flushed her face was.

"Awww, come on Yuna, it was only a little bit of fun! You liked it though didn't you?"

At his question, if possible, Yuna's cheeks went an even darker shade of red as she turned away.

'_Does that mean he loves me?'_

"I'll take that as a yes will I?" He laughed heartily, before turning to face his friends.

How ya doin' Wakka? Lulu? Who's baby?"

"Ours," Wakka stated simply as he put his arm around his wife.

Tidus felt his mouth drop to the ground.

"Yours?" He questioned obviously shocked.

"You betcha!" Wakka exclaimed proudly, dragging him closer so that he could examine the child.

"Whadyya think? He's cute ya?"

"Uhhhhh, yeah sure!"

"Hey Yuna!" Lulu called out to her, "We're going to start heading back to the village, are you coming? Or are you just going to stand there glowing like a cherry all day?"

'_How am I going to ask him?'_

"Yuna!"

'_What would he say?'_

Tidus snuck up behind her and snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her close as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Yuna?" He cooed gently in her ear, while taking in her vanilla sent.

"What?" she jumped suddenly as she tensed up, frightened by the tickle of his breath on the back of her neck.

"It's only me Yuna," he told her soothingly and all at once she seemed to relax. "What's wrong? I've only been back 15 minutes and I can already tell that something is upsetting you. You can tell me you know.

Yuna simply nodded stiffly in reply, "I know."

"So what's bothering you?" He asked her again and although Yuna wasn't face him, she could tell just by his tone of voice that he was genuinely worried.

Yuna lowered her arms onto where his lay, laced tightly around her waist and patted them reassuringly.

"I-I have to talk to you privately about it," she whispered nervously.

"Sure thing…we should head back to the village now anyway." He loosened his hold on her, allowing her to turn and face him. He smiled, and Yuna smiled weakly back.

"Come on, lets go," he said grabbing her hand and puling her towards the village. She didn't answer him back, her mind already switching frantically to 'thinking mode' trying to think how she could ask him what she wanted to.

How was she going to do it?

But she **needed** to know, in order to put her mind at ease, even if she was being ridiculous.

She just hoped that she didn't push him away in the process…

* * *

**A/N: **And so here's my new story! What did everyone think so far? I've already typed the second chapter up so the quicker people review, the quicker the next chapter gets put up. I know that this chapter didn't seem very angsty but it definitely will be in the chapters to come. By the way, the final chapter of my other story 'Please Tell Me' shall be finished and posted within the next couple of days so look forward to that grand finale as well. Anyway, ENJOY everyone and REVIEW! 


	2. Do You Love Me?

**Her Shattered Heart Chapter 2- Do You Love Me?**

'_What am I going to do?'_

'_What do I say?'_

'_What will he say?'_

As the couple walked along, Tidus had studied Yuna's expression very carefully. Whatever was bothering her must have been bad…she looked worried…frightened even and really deep in thought. Whatever it was that was worrying her, was now starting to trouble him as well. He tore himself away from her for moment when he realized they had arrived at their destination.

"Yuna, we're here!" His shrill announcement caused her to snap here head up abruptly, shaking the worries away to the back of her mind…for now.

"Wow, it still looks the same…nothing seems to have changed much," he stated as he took in his surroundings. Yuna laughed slightly as she watched him re-familiarize himself with everything. He looked somewhat disappointed.

"Yeah…most of Spira has pretty much stayed the same, if anything has changed though it's the people."

"So I see," he said playfully, turning to face her to gauge her new outfit. He hadn't really had the chance to see it before with Yuna having her episode down on the beach and receiving all kinds of greetings from his fellow guardians. But now that he was standing there right in front of her, he was shocked and actually,completely mystified at how little she was wearing. While he had journeyed with her on her pilgrimage, it was almost as if she was caught showing an inch of skin below her shoulders; Yuna would be arrested and trialed for indecent exposure. This new outfit of hers was indeed reveling, showing off her shapely and beautiful figure for the whole world to see...

'_Does that mean it doesn't matter anymore what she wears?'_

"I like it," he stated simply while smiling as he made his way over to her. Yuna blushed at his remark and she found her hands rush up to try and hide her incredibly flushed face...but Tidus quickly grabbed her arms, stopping them millimeters from their goal. She instantly diverted her gaze to the ground…only to have Tidus once again force her to make eye contact by placing a finger under her chin and gingerly lifting it up.

"Something really is bothering you, isn't it?" He whispered, as he placed his forehead up against hers, smiling gently."Spill it..."Yuna sighed nervously under his piercing gaze and abruptly pulled away from his warm embrace, tears once again biting at the corner's of her eyes as she turned her back to him. Tidus frowned as he watched her walk away, bewildered by her behavior.

'_What the hell is wrong with her…?'_

'_Well…guess it's up to me to find out…'_

"Come here…" Tidus said, lurching out andgrabbing her quickly before she had the chance to get away, as he begun forcefully pulling her into the nearest hut, closing the door behind them. Yuna stumbled away up against the closest wall, eyeing her guardian's back uneasily as he fiddled with the heavy brass lock to insure that they weren't disturbed. He turned to face her then; she looked quite scared and refused to meet his line of vision…no matter how hard he tried, she always managed to avoid it. It was almost as if she had closed up completely for that moment, blocking everything and everyone out. He slowly beganadvancing towards her, hoping to receive some clue as to what was troubling her. Yuna only pushed herself up further against the wall and violently shook her head in responce.

"Please…don't come any closer," she pleaded her voice barely audible. Tidus stopped suddenly, obeying her orders, but his concern did not ease.

"Yuna…what's wrong? You're really starting to scare me; you've been acting very strange." She didn't answer and he was slightly annoyed from the lack of a response. He just didn't understand what on earth she was making such a big deal about. Had he done something to upset or offend her? After all, she was asking him to stay away. It soon became apparent to him that the possibility of him being the cause of her pain was indeed a real one, meaning that he would have to try and fix it…quickly.

'_Just say it Yuna, it's not that hard!'_

'_But…what if he says no?'_

'_You'll never know if you don't ask him!'_

'_If he says no…I-I don't think I'll be able to handle it.'_

'_Just ask him already! Ask him…ask him…ask him…ask him…ask him.'_

'_**ASK HIM!**'_

"Yuna…did I…do something wrong? Because if I did I'm really sorr-"

"Doyouloveme?" Yuna blurted out quickly. Tidus' eyes narrowed in confusion, unable to understand the contents of her hurried statement.

"What?"

"Do you **love **me?" Yuna said slower and more deliberate this time, clenching her eyes shut tightly in anticipation of his answer.

"Yuna…what-"

"Do you?" Yuna interrupted harshly.

"Yuna…where did this come from?" He demanded, as he strode across the room towards her, regardless of her wishes for him to keep his distance. Yuna had hidden her face in the fall of her hair and so he was unable to see her reaction. He was angry that she was questioning how he felt about her…Tidus had thought that he had made is intentions towards Yuna perfectly clear on her pilgrimage...Especially in Macalania.

Why was she asking him about..._this_?

He pinned her to the wall by the shoulders, trying to establish some sort of visual link with her…to no avail.

'_Is this what's been troubling her? Why?'_

"Yuna, look at me," he whispered softly. When she didn't move, he tried being firmer.

"**Look at me**."

Yuna's head straightened grudgingly and as her face came into view, Tidus' anger seemed to evaporate at just mere sight of the sadness and despair that was so blatantly obvious in her eyes. As soon as Yuna saw him, she instantly began to cry…unable to contain her worries anymore, she let everything out in an incredible display of raw emotion.

"You promised to stay…and you didn't…you promised always…and you lied!" she managed to say while sobbing hysterically, trying to break free from her captive who was still holding her tightly.

"**YOU LIED!** You promised…that you would come…running if I whistled and you didn't. I whistled…everyday for two years and you **still **stayed…away when I needed you!" Her weeping only intensified as she remembered how long he had remained absent from her side, despite the multiple plea's she had sent to whoever the heavenly being it was that controlled fate. To be exact, Tidus had been gone 730 days. That was 17,520 hours without his jokes or laughs…without his touch…without his _kiss_. It was 63,072,000 seconds in which with every passing one, her heart seemingly ached for her beloved guardian even more…

"Why…why didn't you tell me…you were going to fade? Is it because you didn't…love me? Does that mean that…what happened at Macalania…was a mistake?" Yuna felt like she wanted to collapse and die at the thought, but somehow she miraculously managed to retain her footing…only really because Tidus was holding her there.

Soon she found the courage to face him, a combination of rage and absolute terror swelling in the pit of her stomach.

"When…when I didn't get any answer from…from you after I told you how I felt about you…just as you were leaving...I-I…" Yuna didn't finish and once again began sobbing uncontrollably, fresh tears flowing down her flushed cheeks. He hadn't said anything yet and so naturally,she began to assume the worst. Her every fear, doubt and herutter misery radiated from her eyes into his, causing Tidus to flinch away, unable to withstand the waterfall of emotion cascading over him…drowning him. The instant he jumped back, she let out an incredibly loud and painful cry and slumped to the floor, wrapping her arms aroundherself tightly in aball as she rocked her self furiously, shaking spastically. Now that he didn't love her…there was really no point in living anymore…

Tidushad never been good with words and that was no secret; in fact he was _horrible _with them. But his lack of speech was what was causing the problem right now. He just couldn't bare toeven see Yuna in such profound anguish. He felt like someone had come and stabbed him thousands of times in the heart…but he deserved it. He had promised her 'always'…then had broken her trust by disappearing. He had promised her he'd come running when she whistled…then broke her faith by not responding to her cry for help. And, he had broken her heart when he didn't respond to her pledge of love for him.

Actually, Yuna had it all wrong…he wanted nothing more then to say those few simple words to her, but he just…couldn't. The obstacle in his way was just really common sense. Why on earth would you declare love to someone who you knew could never really have it? Why put someone you love through the pain of teasing them with the one thing in this world that they could never have? He wasn't going to be there for her, he would be gone…forever…she would have to move on eventually, he was just trying to make it easier for her. But from what he was dealing with now…he had actually just made everything much worse. He _should_ have told her he was going to disappear…maybe they would have found a way to save his life like he had saved hers. Maybe, if that had happened, they would be happy now…with a family…with a life…with **each other**…

He had caused this mess...

If he didn't fix this quickly, he would lose her…forever lost in her own grief.

'_God…what have I done?'_

* * *

**Author's Notes: **It's my birthday tomorrow! YAY!Sorry I didn't get this chapter up quickly guys. This week was my last week of exams and it has been hell…but it's over now! YAY! Holidays for two months! So hopefully I'll be updating every few days or so. Sorry for the depressing mood in this chapter to, I've been listening to the Titanic soundtrack a lot lately and that's probably the cause. LOL Also **another **apology for this chapter being so short, I was writing this when I should have been studying for exams so that's why! Also I wanted to leave it on a bit of a cliffy for you all :P

Anyway, please review and I shall endeavor to get the next chapter up ASAP! ENJOY & REVIEW! THANK-YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! I LOVE YOU ALL!


	3. Three Simple Words

**Her Shattered Heart Chapter 3- Three Simple Words**

"Yuna…" Tidus lowered himself beside her huddled, trembling form. Instantly, she shrank away coldly from his supportive gesture and continued sobbing frantically into her shaking hands. He had to calm her down…already Yuna was seemingly pale, her skin icy and clammy to the touch. She had worked herself up into an untamable frenzy of sadness, making Tidus' job all the more difficult.

"Yuna, please…" he tried again, but his plea was simply ignored. If anything, her tremors and cries increased and suddenly, he found himself at a loss for what he should do now. He **had **to calm her down; there was no question about it. _He_ was the cause of her pain and therefore the only person capable of putting a stop to her emotional torture.

'_Me and my stupid words…'_

Tidus eyed her fraught and despaired frame helplessly, on the edge of tears himself at seeing her in such a state. He lunged at her then, engulfing her in a desperate embrace. Yuna remained limp in his arms for only a second, before realizing what had happened. Instantaneously, she began thrashing about, trying to writhe herself free of his rigid grasp.

"Please let me go…" she managed to get out, even while still weeping heavily.

"No…it's okay Yuna, I'll never let go of you again…" Tidus replied, his voice quaking with unshed tears.

Yuna's expression only saddened at this and she continued her resistance against his attempts to restrain her. She kicked; punched and scratched away mercilessly at her guardian's torso and limbs as tears carved new paths down her rather flushed cheeks.

'_I…I don't believe you…'_

'_Liar…'_

Tidus held onto the ex-summoner for dear life, wincing and yelping whenever any part of her body came into contact with his skin, but still he refused to let Yuna go despite the enormous amount of pain she was capable of inflicting.

Finally after a few minutes Yuna seemed to quiet down a little, her violent movements becoming rather sluggish and her breathing ragged from expending so much energy on attempting to escape. She was also quite weary from crying so hard.

"Why…why are you still holding me? I've hurt you…a lot I'm sure…" She whimpered softly into his chest, honestly believing that he would have released her by now. "I know…" he whispered gently in her ear, his voice cracking from the ache pounding throughout his entire body as he tried to move into a more comfortable position. "But, you have to admit I deserved that…" Tidus tried to force a rather pathetic laugh at his own expense, while Yuna's eyes simply widened in shock at his confession…he did _kind of _deserve it…all of a sudden she felt a new onset of fresh tears pushing at the corners of her eyes as she examined his arms more closely from where she was now trapped upright against his chest. Bruises and bloody scratch trials plaguing his toned biceps…Yuna now felt incredibly guilty for the injuries she had imposed and was about to apologize when a voice in her head halted her speech.

'_No…I can't let myself fall into this trap again…not again.'_

"Please don't do this…I-I'm sorry for what I did to you, but you…you wouldn't let go. I…I already know how you feel, so please…spare your concern," she _tried_ to say firmly, unfortunately though, her stern voice was slowly being drowned out by the sobs building in her throat with every new word formed on her lips. "Even if you say that you're not going to leave me…I don't believe you, to me…they're just empty promises that you are unable to keep." Yuna felt her anger begin to boil involuntary underneath the surface, as her body tensed up in Tidus' unyielding grasp. "So spare your lies for some other gullible fool…"

Tidus mealy sighed as he tightened his hold on the young women, preparing himself to put to use the words that were so badly needed at this moment to mend the situation.

'_So much to tell…and yet nothing to say…'_

'_Okay Tidus just try and start out really simple…'_

"Yuna, I'm sorry…I honestly…never meant to hurt yo-"

"Stop," Yuna interrupted callously. "Don't sit there and say you never '**meant**' to hurt me because if you didn't, you wouldn't have betrayed my trust let alone my feelings like you did."

"You're not listening to me…" Tidus argued, pulling away from her slightly in order to meet her furious stare.

"I don't want to listen to your pathetic excuses…the point is you lied to me! **YOU LIED**! You made promises that you **_knew _**you couldn't keep! Why! You put me through those two years of complete **_agony_** and, you tricked me into thinking that you loved me! Well I'm not-"

Yuna's abusive rant was abruptly brought to a halt when Tidus forced the gap between them closed, and violently pressed his lips against hers in a last ditch effort to make her understand how he felt. Mainly because his lousy words obviously were incapable of making any kind of difference. At first, he was just as surprised as she was at what he had just done and of course, Yuna was incredibly reluctant and tried to pull away numerous times, using her arms to try and repel herself away from his chest and out his secure embrace. Tidus, on the other hand would only push harder against her back, causing her arms to cave in under the pressure and temporarily surrender for a few minutes before venturing to break away once again.

Yuna couldn't readily admit to herself that she was indeed enjoying the kiss, as she continued to feign reluctance in hopes that he would eventually break away. She wanted more then anything to be able to enjoy it, but with every event, every word, every gesture, every movement that he had given her…that he had _promised _her and then broken into a thousand tiny pieces, playing through her mind at such a relentless pace, she found the idea of wanting to enjoy the kiss even less appealing. But the solution was so simple. All Tidus had to do was say those three simple yet heart wrenchingly beautiful words that would wash over her aching scars, healing them of all past damages completely. '_**I love you**' _It was that easy.

It truly was _that_ straightforward. And yet stillhe refused to say them.

Why couldn't he see it?

Was he _refusing_ to see?

If so, then why?

At the sudden thought that Tidus could be so ignorant of her emotional state, Yuna immediately felt her anger begin to force its way to the surface again as it took control. With her new found strength, Yuna was able to break the kiss, and although more then a little reluctantly, she managed to meet his saddened gaze.

"Please don't…y-you lied…y-you promised me…I've told you already not to play with my feelings like that are you truly that clueless?" She looked at him apprehensively, more desperation evident in her voice then anger. Tidus lowered his line of vision to the ground; unable to even answer her question…or statement…he couldn't tell which. Yuna scanned her mind frantically trying to come up with something that could possibly grab his attention…and if she was lucky, maybe even a response.

"I-if you don't…love me then…why did you come back?" She knew that question was being a little overly dramatic, but at this point she was dying for him to show even just some kind of small acknowledgement that her presence was indeed known to him.

Tidus only tightened his arms around her back, even more livid with himself for not being to even say _'but I do love you.'_ He didn't know what was wrong, the words just refused to form in his mouth. His throat had gone dry and raspy and his tongue felt like a lead weight. Instantly of course, he blamed his 'asshole' father for bringing him up in such a careless and daunting environment. Maybe if he had shown him even the slightest amount of compassion, the smallest inkling that he cared for his only son maybe then, Tidus wouldn't be in this predicament. Maybe if Jecht had said to him even just once those three easy yet fantastic words _'I love you' _even once,then he just might be able to return those words to the people or rather _person _he needed to the most at the moment with a little less effort.

Tidus was unexpectedly interrupted from silently cursing his father when he heard incredibly faint whimpers coming from nearby. Instantly upon realizing the most likely source, (AKA: the girl lying sprawled carelessly across his lap) he ran his fingers through her hair soothingly, wordlessly calming her sobs until they finally started to die away.

"Yuna…please, could you listen to me for a second?" Although quite unwillingly, after a few moments Yuna began to sit up slowly, extracting herself carefully from her guardians lap, she took a minute to compose her feelings as well as wipe away the scattered stray tears from her flustered cheeks before turning to face Tidus' rather reluctant gaze.

Tidus could tell, just by quickly glancing up at Yuna's expression that she didn't want to have anything to do with what he wanted to talk to her about, making the already unnerving atmosphere in the room even more unpleasant. It was true. Yuna didn't want to stay…it was so easy to get up, walk out the door and run away…and yet, despite all logic she found herself unable to move. She didn't want to have to endure Tidus' explanation as to why he didn't love her and that thought made her more then displeased. It would be down right excruciating!

'_Don't put yourself through this Yuna…it'll only hurt more then it already does.'_

But even with her minds reasoning, her legs still refused to move and remained glued to the spot. He didn't love her, so what was she still doing there? The underlining answer to _that_ question was all too obvious, she knew. The answer was why Yuna wasn't moving…why she wasn't running…why she wasn't **_leaving_**.

She had been trapped and imprisoned by the one thing she had tried to deny countless times already…her _feelings_.

**She loved him**…

And as long as she did, Yuna knew that she would in the end, do whatever Tidus asked of her. Even after all he had done, all he had said (or rather not said!) she couldn't pull herself away. Although she couldn't confess it to herself, she _needed_ to hear him say this…even though she may never ever hear those three simple words and instead be turned down ruthlessly, she couldn't help but still hope.

Besides, what did she have to lose?

* * *

'_Come on Tidus no more running away…'_

'_You're only hurting her more with all of this avoidance.' _

'_Blaming Jecht won't help you…'_

'_Just whistle and I'll come running…I promise'_

'_Not until the end…always…'_

'_But you know when it is all over…we will wake and our dream will end…our dream will vanish.'_

'_I really did promise her…and I really did break it…I've caused her so much pain.'_

'_I didn't know then about what would happen at the end…'_

'_But…the reason I didn't tell her even when I found out is because…it would have shattered her heart.'_

'_Looks like I did that anyway…'_

'_I have to make her understand how I feel!'_

'_I just have to say those three simple words…'_

'_Otherwise I'll lose her…**forever**.'_

"Yuna," Tidus stated, breaking the all too uncomfortable silence, making the tense air in the room lift ever so slightly. He reached his arm out to her and gently cupped her cheek in his palm, using his thumb to gingerly wipe away the tears still falling down her face. Yuna responded by leaning in a little, the warmth that radiated from his hand was incredibly inviting…but why was he doing this? She tried to search his expression for some clue to explain his actions, but he only seemed to be returning her stare blankly, clouding his true intentions, making Yuna of course all the more curious.

Nothing though prepared her for what Tidus said next…all of a sudden, his mysterious stare vanished and Yuna was hit candidly in the face with his look of pure adoration.

"Yuna…_my_ Yuna…I **do** love you…so much."

* * *

**A/N: **Yes I have another short chapter (by my standards). Sorry guys, I have been really busy this week and I know you really want me to update so I thought that I had better post something! You'll all be happy to know though, I am on holidays now for two months so hopefully, I'll update every few days depending if I get the right amount of reviews. :P I'm glad that everybody is enjoying this so far and everybody who reviews gets a little thank-you note in their inbox and I'll also try and R&R at least one of our stories (if you have one). If you are an anonymous reviewer and you want a thank-you note, just leave you email address in the review! But I want you guys to review because you like the story, not just so you'll get an email from me, that's an added bonus:)

The plot will start coming into light in the chapters to follow, I promise. Unlike my other story "Please Tell Me" in which I had no idea where the story was going until I wrote another chapter… (Stupid, slack and unorganized of me I know) I have actually figured out the plot for this story, making it a hell of a lot easier to write (Who'd of thought:P) So I promise that the plot shall be revealed in the next chapter…these first few were just to set the mood:) It should also lighten up quite a bit in the next few chappie's as well…but don't expect it to stay that way, this is an angst story after all MWHAHAHAHAHA! But for now, look forward to some TidusxYuna fluff heading your way! Everyone please **ENJOY **and **REVIEW!**


	4. Uncertainty

**Authors Notes: **Okay guys I am really sorry if it seemed like I was dragging the story out a little, I honestly had no intention of doing that on purpose and hope that you guys can forgive me for it! My problem is that I'm too wrapped up in my writing and everything else that is going on with my life at the moment. Again I'm sorry, and as promised the plot does reveal itself in this chapter. Unfortunately, this story will be on temporary hiatus while I'm in Japan for the next month or so. I'm really sorry to everyone who is enjoying this so far and apologize but I'm afraid there's not much I can do…I look forward to seeing you all when I get back!

However, on much sadder note, I was astonished to hear that a very well known, favored and talented author here on this site stopped writing fan fiction for a particular section on the website all because she was being flamed and harassed constantly by a reader. I would just like to say first of all, people who flame I see as a plague on this website. No story is perfect and we all know that, but to put people down just because you disagree or don't like a certain aspect of the story I think, is horrible.

Constructive criticism is one thing; you are telling people how they can improve there work and how to achieve better results and responses. Some authors on this website have very fragile creative spirit (especially first timers) and just one flame or negative comment can shatter a person's confidence. We all have different tastes in what kind of stories we all like to read, with some genres and parings being more popular then others, and therefore all stories are of course, written differently. I would also like to point out that just because you think that your opinion is right, doesn't necessarily mean that it is either.

Nobody flames by "accident", and I can't stand people being so cowardly that they won't even own up to it. I can't stand anonymous flamers either, if you think that your opinion should be so strongly regarded and taken notice of, then you should at least sign in so that the author can at least know who you are and contact you. Finally, the last kinds of flames I can't stand are people who have the nerve to criticize other people's works and yet have written no stories themselves. Crystal Remnant (my sister's penname) received a flame from a member on this site who not only hadn't written any of her own stories, but couldn't spell the names of the characters that my sister used in her story as well. _That_ I'm afraid, says more about the reviewer rather then the author. I would like to finish my rant by simply stating what an incredibly cute, smart yet young rabbit once said which I think sums up what I've been trying to say throughout this passage thus far.

"If you can't say something nice…then don't say nothing at all." _Quoted by Thumper the rabbit from the movie 'Bambi' (My sister's philosophy on reviews…and mine as well.)_

Sorry guys about my ranting, I simply needed to vent. I'm sure that most of you agree on what I'm saying…the author who was abused was one of my favorites and I'm really upset that she has decided to stop writing. Anyway, here's the next chapter so enjoy and don't forget to review…all **_constructive_** criticism and praise is welcome! And thank-you to all my reviewers who of course are greatly appreciated.

* * *

**Chapter 4-Uncertainty**

Yuna made her way out into the cool night air, allowing the soft breeze to chill her skin. The stars were seemingly diamonds embedded in a blanket of darkness, shining brilliantly. All at once Yuna felt at peace. The heated conversation in the hut was now two days past and already it felt like it had happened years ago…everything she had at the moment was perfect. Finally, after two years of silent suffering she now had everything that she had ever dreamed of since she could remember; a home with the one she loved and caring friends close by, and yet, she couldn't help but feel in the depth of her heart that everything was _too right_. She instantly tried to slap the thought away by telling herself that she was just being paranoid…but it continued to linger in the recesses of her mind making her feel uneasy and aggravated.

'_What's wrong with me…?'_

"I'm back!" Tidus shut the door behind him quietly and turned, expecting to see Yuna, who instead of running up and welcoming him home was no where in sight and instead, he was greeted with an empty room. Carefully he made his way through the small dwelling, looking for any sign of her presence and eventually came upon the open back door swaying gently in the breeze. Standing beneath the palms was Yuna looking out into the distance…she seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that he had just arrived home. Slowly, Tidus made his way over to her, trying hard to study her small form in the shadows so as to find a clue for the reason why she was in such a deep trace…to no avail. Stopping short just behind Yuna's back, he gradually began snaking his arms around her waist as his head came to lay in the crevasse of her neck.

"Hey there beautiful," he whispered in a rather playful tone, his lips coming to rest dangerously close to her ear.

At the sudden sound of his voice, Yuna gasped in surprise, almost leaping out of his arms in fright. "Whoa! Calm down it's only me…you know I don't bite!" Tidus said reassuringly, tightening his hold on her hips to steady her.

"T-Tidus?" She questioned in a rather unnaturally shaky voice, while cautiously turning to face his concerned expression.

"The one and only! Hey, what's wrong? You're really upset about something aren't you?"

"No…I was-I mean…you just…scared me that's all." She clarified rather unconvincingly while burying her face in his chest in a somewhat vain attempt to hide the worry that was so blatantly apparent on her features. Tidus only sighed in exasperation before continuing…she was so easy to read.

"Yuna…you don't have to lie to me you know?"

"I'm not," she tried to say firmly, her voice rather muffled by his shirt.

"Uh huh…sure you aren't," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

For some reason, this only angered Yuna…and although she had told her self repeatedly that she wasn't holding a grudge against Tidus anymore, she couldn't help but bring it up again to defend her actions.

"What does it matter if I'm lying? I'm only returning the favor."

Tidus was practically speechless at her words…he was doing his best to make up for those promises he had broken and he thought that she understood…apparently she didn't. However, the last thing he wanted at the moment was to fight with her, and although her words had irritated him, he tried to brush them off as though they were harmless and decided to try and steer the conversation in another direction. Besides, he sort of understood why she was mad at him…but she obviously couldn't see how hard he was working to re-earn her trust.

He forced a smile while extracting her face from its hiding place in his chest, trying to meet Yuna's gaze. But she only averted her eyes to the ground. With that one simple statement, all of her insecurities and anger had resurfaced as tears of frustration began to pool in the corners of her eyes.

"Yuna…come on look at me."

"No…"

'_It's your fault I feel like this…'_

Tidus only sighed in annoyance before reaching out and grasping her hand firmly, pulling her along away from their hut and out of the village. Yuna was pulled along so quickly that it took her a moment to figure out what was happening…and even then, they had already passed the threshold of the small settlement and were climbing the hill that lead down to the ocean.

"Tidus…what-"

"You obviously have something on your mind that's bothering you, not to mention making you upset. I figured that maybe a walk down on the beach maybe the perfect thing to calm you down…and besides, a beach is quite the romantic place don't you think?" He turned to face Yuna, his face practically beaming as he dragged her along. He winked at her before turning back around and all at once, she felt her face begin to burn at even just the mere suggestion of something like that.

"We're here!" He proclaimed loudly before running towards the water at an incredibly fast pace, his wheaten locks blowing carelessly in the wind. Yuna couldn't believe the sight before her…the sand was bleached white in the moonlight as the dark ocean lapped away playfully at her feet. It was so serene. She closed her eyes, taking in the gentle smell of salt as her dusty brown trusses danced happily in the gentle breeze. All of a sudden, she was engulfed by a warm sensation from behind, and she knew what it was…a mischievous smile began playing at the corners of her mouth.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on?" He whispered from behind, Yuna just smiled and leaned into his embrace, enjoying the feeling of his breath on the back of her neck.

"Hmmm…I don't even remember what it was anymore," she mumbled distractingly…she did remember, but she was sure that bringing her problems up would only ruin this sweet rapture of simply being in his arms.

Tidus sniggered lightly. "I don't believe you. And if you don't tell me soon, I'm afraid I'm going to have to punish you harshly my dear." He said in a menacing tone. He was planning something.

"Oh my, whatever shall I do?" Yuna said in an equally exaggerated voice.

"Tell me or suffer the consequences!"

"Never!"

Suddenly, Tidus threw his arms around the ex-summoner's waist as she squirmed and squealed about in mock protest. "Let me go!" Tidus only chuckled as he carried Yuna further out into the water, lowering her alarmingly close to the surface. She stopped thrashing when she realized what his intensions were.

"You wouldn't **_dare_**…!" She was finding the idea of being completely saturated very unappealing; not only because she would have to endure a long walk freezing to death on her way back to the village, but also her clothes would be completely see through. Although Yuna loved him and she was sure that he would never ever do anything _unpleasant _to her, even the thought made her feel _dreadfully_ uncomfortable.

But if she didn't want to be 'punished' then she would have to tell him everything, a concept which seemed quite unappealing, even more so then getting wet.

"Oh I will if you don't tell me what's bothering you!"

"N-no!" Yuna forced out in-between nervous laughs.

"Oh well, I warned you!"

With that, Yuna's captive whisked his arms out from under her small frame as she hit the water with a small '_splash'_. Upon resurfacing, most of her hair was stuck to her face, covering her eyes as she floundered around trying to regain her balance in the water. Tidus, unable to find her image somewhat hilarious, couldn't help himself when he erupted into fits of giggles. By the time that Yuna had composed herself as much as possible after wiping the water and hair out of her eyes and she saw him pointing and laughing, she was fuming.

"Just what is so funny?" She said her voice uncharacteristically serious.

"Y-you!" He retorted, trying to stifle his laughter before he upset her any further.

Yuna's fury erupted; she waded up to Tidus and slapped him across the face with one smooth, powerful swipe. Tidus was taken by surprise and the force of the blow knocked him onto his backside. The water churned and sloshed around him and he quickly scrambled to his feet with a dumbfounded look on his face to find Yuna giggling at him, "WHAT?" He yelled at her, "I laughed at you because of how funny you looked in the water so you slapped me and now that I am in your position you're laughing at me?"

Yuna, still chuckling, plopped down into the water next to him, put her arms around his neck, and brought her face _very_ close to his, "well, you were right for a change," she whispered, her lips brushing his, "it is funny to see someone scrambling around in the water!" Yuna giggled again now teasing Tidus as her lips, once again, brushed against his.

"Well," said Tidus, are _you _going to kiss _me _or will _I _have to kiss _you_, it's your choice!"

"Um," Yuna chuckled, then she pressed her lips against Tidus'.

She pushed herself eagerly against his lips, attempting to deepen the kiss. Eventually, Tidus began to reciprocate, pushing just as firmly as they both sank down into the soft sand.

They both eventually broke off, their need for oxygen only slightly winning in the conflict of their wanting to stay like that forever. Yuna smiled, her doubts had disappeared for the moment, "I missed you so much," her eyes started to fill with tears, "I felt so lost without you, I wanted you back so badly!"

Tidus was overcome by her emotion, "I know," he murmured into wet hair. "I missed you too, very, very much," he gently pulled back so that he could look into her captivating bi-colored eyes, "but I'm back now, and I am _never _going to leave you _ever_ again. _I promise._ Yuna," he continued his voice strained and hoarse with emotion, "this is a promise that I am going to keep, no matter what it takes, I am going to be with you…always."

Yuna looked into his brilliant blue eyes and saw nothing but truth there, she was suddenly very calm as she wrapped her arms tightly around him, "I know Tidus, I know."

They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other, until Yuna lifted up her head and looked at Tidus, "We had best be getting back, Lulu will have dinner ready soon," at the mention of food Tidus' eyes brightened as he suddenly remembered how hungry he was. "Yeah," he said eagerly "I'm _starving,_ aren't you?" Yuna just laughed as she got up and helped Tidus to his feet.

As they were walking up to the village hand in hand, Tidus noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Deciding it best to keep Yuna out of danger, he ushered her forward, "hey, Yuna," he said, "why don't you go on up ahead of me okay, I'll be there in a jiffy."

Yuna, being too giddy from their previous encounter failed to notice his rather serious expression. "Ahh, well alright Tidus don't take too long though, okay?" Yuna looked at him for a moment, noticing his rather distracted look, but then at seeing a reassuring smile on his face she continued to walk back up towards the village. "Wait for me," was all he offered before venturing back down towards the beach.

Tidus edged his way towards the ocean, his heart pounding furiously in his chest in anticipation of what he may find. Curiosity had always been one of his greatest weaknesses…and most of the time, it led him to nothing but trouble…and this time apparently, was no exception.

"Hello."

Tidus turned sharply at the sound of the voice and suddenly came face to face with the young ghostly figure that he had come to know all too well during his time in Spira.

The Fayth.

But why was he here…?

Tidus didn't even want to think about it.

"We have to talk…something is wrong."

"Uh huh, I was afraid of that." Tidus responded gloomily.

'_I should've known I couldn't come back without something going wrong…that would just be too convenient wouldn't it?'_

He had a feeling that this problem was going to be anything but small…and these feelings of his were usually right.

'_Terrific, I'm sure Yuna will be happy about this.'_

* * *

**A/N: **And done…God, I had to force myself against my will to get this chapter out, so much so that I had my friend write some of it for me…so you can all thank Obsidian Crystal for writing about the last ¼ of this chapter for me. I hope that you all enjoy it! I am terribly sorry that I took so long to update, it's just that at the moment, the last thing I want to be doing is sitting still at my computer writing. I don't know whether it's because I go to Japan for a month in three days or what but I seriously didn't want to write. I'm sure that you guys can probably tell that this chapter is forced and rushed but that's because I didn't want to do it and I wanted to update before I left. So feel free to criticize me for that too if you want.

I've been considering deleting this story for sometime now as well, simply because it's not playing out how I want it to. If you guys can convince me otherwise I will continue but only if the majority of you really think that I should continue…otherwise it shall be deleted.

So please review, if nobody does I'll assume you guys want the story deleted. LOL. I apologize to all my favorite authors as well, as I have already mentioned, I will be in Japan for the next month and thus unable to review or update stories. I apologize again and look forward to seeing you all when I return, hopefully with renewed inspiration for writing.

Warui-Usagi


	5. Rejection and Realization

**Her Shattered Heart: Chapter 5**

**Rejection and Realization**

Yuna stirred amongst her bed sheets restlessly, groaning in annoyance. It had almost been three and a half hours since she had returned to her small hut…alone. Tidus had assured her that he would catch up, but he _still_ hadn't. Where was he? She had thought that his reasons for just running off were a little more then suspicious, but she didn't interrogate him for fear perhaps spoiling a surprise or something he was planning for her. She had been waiting so long now and it was beginning to get far beyond the point of ridiculous. She had almost sprinted back to her home she was that excited after they're beach frolic, preparing herself for what she thought would be a night of unbridled passion and romantic gestures on his part. But all she had gotten so far were now, nearly four hours of growing abstinence, frustration, anger at his insolence and his blatant disregard for both the time and her feelings.

'_Where has he gone…?'_

Yuna turned again for perhaps the millionth time to look at the small digital clock on her mahogany dresser and noted that it was now, indeed four hours since Tidus had taken off. She felt so stupid…why on earth did she have such high expectations of him? She had been stood up and it broke her heart. It was just past midnight now, and Yuna knew that she couldn't wait much longer for him to return.

She didn't **_want_ **to wait.

She was absolutely furious and she now felt like she was too livid to accept any forgiveness or excuses he tried to offer her. Finally letting it all out, a combination of exhaustion and sadness, Yuna broke down into uncontrollable sobs as she buried her face in her pillow to muffle the noise, afraid that it would wake the villagers and in turn spur an unreasonable amount of questioning.

'_Why would he do this to me? I feel like such an idiot…I feel so worthless.' _

And there Yuna remained until she eventually wore herself out from crying and fell into an uncomfortable form of slumber.

'_Why…?'_

* * *

"I don't think I can even face her, knowing what's going to happen," Tidus spoke out aloud from his hunched position on the sand, his fists clenching painfully at his hair. "What am I supposed to tell her?"

"I truly am sorry," the hovering ghost offered. "Right now we're doing all we can to find a solution, but…at the rate things are going now, I don't know how long you'll last."

"And that's all you can say?" Tidus snapped back, half in fury and half in disbelief that he was actually having this conversation.

'…_Just when Yuna was starting to get over her worries that I was going to disappear…'_

"What's all this talk about my 'form' becoming 'unstable'?"

"You needn't worry yourself with the details," the spirit said calmly. "That information will only complicate matters and make you worry more."

"Don't you **dare **stand there and tell me not to worry about **my **life…about **my **life with Yuna…you have no right to take this away from me, away from _us_!" Tidus screamed passionately at the shadowy figure, his voice cracking with emotion.

"I'm sorry," the Fayth repeated, but this seemed to only anger the blonde haired blitzer more. Suddenly he jumped to his feat, obviously upset.

"Yuna's the one you should be apologizing to! Why would you do this to her? Bring me back only to rip me away from her again! I was told about what happened to her the first time I left, her family and I honestly don't think she'd survive another…"

"Please Tidus," Bahamut begged, "we are doing everything we can, I just thought that I should warn you…in the mean time though, I suggest you conceal this from Lady Yuna as best you can. I know how deeply upset she would be…"

"You're damn right she would!" Tidus yelled at the hooded boy, furiously kicking a cloud of sand up as he did so. "Anyway, it's not like you care, you got what you wanted from us two years ago, this doesn't affect you at all either way so I don't expect you to understand!" Now he was starting to lose it…

"You're wrong!" The Fayth argued, "We wanted to thank Lady Yuna for what she did for us…that's why we brought you back. We had no intention of hurting her at all…" His objectives sounded genuine to Tidus, but it did little to dissolve his anger.

"Well by the looks of it, your 'intentions' have just flown out the window," he whispered bitterly under his breath. The ex-aeon didn't seem to notice though.

"So?" He questioned hopelessly in a rather defeated tone as he struggled to blink back his own tears. "What do I tell her? She's going to be wondering where I am, and I'm sure she's not too happy with me either."

'_I'll be lucky to salvage anything after all of this…'_

The Fayth smiled. "I'm sure you'll be able to come up with something," was all he offered before disappearing from sight.

"We will talk again…soon," the child's voice lingered on the breeze, seemingly ringing in Tidus' ears.

"Yeah…well, don't come back unless it's to tell me you've fixed all of this!" He threatened weakly, he knew there was no stopping them either way and he had a horrible wrenching feeling in his gut that the next time he talked with the once holy spirits, it was not going to be good news.

"Hey!" He screamed where the boy's transparent, floating form just stood. "You helped cause this mess, don't you think that you should at least…" He trailed off mid-sentence as he became aware that it was pointless to keep going…the Fayth was long gone. Tidus growled as he let out his rage on a nearby ledge that was home to a few old ruins, kicking it repeatedly. Even as large chunks of dirt, rubble and stones continued hit, scratch and nick his skin he continued his relentless pounding hoping that maybe after this his wild temper would diminish, allowing him to walk back to the village calm and collected and slip into bed as if nothing ever happened…fat chance. Yuna was probably fuming by now, even if she had fallen asleep, she would make sure he paid for 'abandoning' her in the morning…

'_I'll be looking forward to having that conversation.'_ He thought to himself sarcastically as he slowed his attacks on the small cliff. After expending so much energy and dealing with the emotional burden of having to hide yet another similar secret to the one he had kept from Yuna two years ago, he was exhausted.

After about an hour of frequent stops and random outbursts of anger, Tidus eventually made his way back to the small village of Besaid, praying that by now, Yuna was definitely asleep. He honestly didn't think that he had the mental capabilities to deal with the problem of being potentially shot on site tonight.

'_I hope she forgives me…even though I didn't really do anything **wrong**…'_

Slowly he began opening the door; cringing every time the old wood creaked for fear that the sound would wake Yuna up. Even though she could be still be awake and just waiting for him to return. He sure hoped not. Sneaking his way through the darkness, he tried his best not to run into or knock anything over, the last thing he wanted was the bleary brunette attacking him because she thought he was an intruder. Upon successfully reaching the bedroom, he mentally let out a huge sigh of relief…she was asleep. Or maybe she was aware that he was back and she was just pretending to be asleep to show that she was upset with him?

Deciding it best not to sit on the bed for once again afraid that his movements may arouse her, he simply stood on one foot to remove a yellow boot and then did the same for the other. He heard Yuna stir behind him, and turned in the dim light to face her sleeping form. From where he was standing, she looked so peaceful, almost as if he hadn't done anything to make her sad. He almost actually believed it too, but upon closely examining her face against the small blazing ceramic lamp on her dressing table, he noticed still damp trails originating from just under her eyelashes and following all the way down to her chin. She'd been crying, just like he thought. In fact, when he looked even closer, he noticed that even her entire facial expression was set in a mould of sorrow.

Not even back a week and already he was breaking her heart.

'_Poor thing probably thinks I rejected her or something…and that's exactly what she'll always think because unless the Fayth can fix this mess, I will never be able to tell her the truth…I hate having to keep secrets from you, but if it means not seeing you as sad as you were two years ago, then I'll do it. I just want to make you happy…'_

Tidus sighed, as he slipped underneath the cool sheets and placed a strong, warm arm over Yuna's small frame. Tomorrow morning was sure to be…interesting in the very least. He just hoped that he could come up with a plausible enough reason as to why he had 'taken off' on her, in turn giving her no reason to suspect him and thereby returning everything to normal.

'_Pfft, I make it sound so easy…'_

Gradually his eyelids began to close; he kept them focused on Yuna for as long as possible, before she eventually disappeared underneath the ever growing blanket of darkness known as sleep.

* * *

"_Lady Yuna I'm sorry, we tried our best…"_

"_What do you mean?" She asked bewildered, "what happened?"_

"_Your Dream…he's…" The Fayth trailed off and watched Yuna's expression morph from one of curiosity into one of horror and worry._

"_What…?" Yuna asked urgently, no longer calm and centered, "I don't understand what you're trying to say…what's wrong with him?"_

"_Just don't be angry with him okay? He…he has his reasons…" The phantom boy said as he slowly disappeared._

"_Wait!" Yuna cried out after the now barely seeable ghost, "what's happening to him…? I don't want to lose him!"_

_But she received no answer and instead, the entire scenario began to fade before her very eyes…_

* * *

Yuna woke up with a start, her eyes shooting open as she gasped for air…it was a dream. _Only a dream,_ she hoped. As her breathing and heart rate began dimming down to its normal levels once more, she allowed her eyes to focus properly. Upon doing so, they fell on a familiar form…well the upper regions of him anyway. She was snuggled in against Tidus' chest and although she would've usually smiled and rejoiced at being so close to him, after what had happened last night, she felt like she wanted to push away from him in disgust. What had he been doing last night that was so important that he forgot about her in the first place?

Yuna wanted to know and was more then a little jealous because of it. Did he do it purely out of avoidance? Or was there some other basis for his rejection? He would probably wake up soon and try and make a joke of the whole thing to cover it up and try and get out of any kind of punishment. He apparently had no idea how much his little stunt had hurt her. He wasn't getting off the hook that easily…

"Oh you're awake," he stated obviously. "I'm surprised that you haven't tried to hit me yet."

"I'm a Lady you know…and Lady's don't hit," she mumbled unenthusiastically, "lucky for you," she added, her voice muffled by the thick sheets.

She wasn't at all in the mood for laughing and so she pushed away from her comfortable, warm spot close to him; and sharply turned around, refusing to face him at all.

"Where were you last night…?" Yuna asked timidly, although there was more then a hint of hostility laced within her words.

"Oh you know, no where that's important," he said casually, oblivious to the fact that it only provoked her more.

"So you went 'no where important' for **_four _**hours! Does that mean that I'm not 'important' either?"

"Yuna, please…you know that's not true. Not even in the slightest."

"Really? Then prove me wrong," she said menacingly, inching slightly closer to the edge of the bed, still not looking at his face. Hinting to Tidus quite strongly that perhaps her little challenge didn't include touching her.

"How?" Tidus asked plainly.

"Tell me where you were." She repeated, growing annoyed at his numerous attempts to dodge the subject.

"I told you…I went no where that's important and I promise that's the truth."

"And we all know how good a promise is coming from you don't we?" She said venomously, although it was more of a statement then a question. "I know you went to the beach, where did you go from there? To flirt with some of the village women? To simply avoid me? **What? **What was so important that you couldn't bother to inform me first? What was so important that you couldn't involve_ me_?" She began to cry then, unable to retain her frustration any longer, causing sobs to escape her lips at random intervals despite her greatest efforts to restrain them.

"Why would you think that I would **ever **avoid you on purpose?"

"Oh come on Tidus," she hissed. "You know what I mean…there were _others_ in Zanarkand weren't there?" She was finally looking him in the eye now, her teary expression matching his bewildered one.

"Why bring this up now? What's the point?" Tidus demanded, confused as to what she was trying to get across with taking the conversation in this direction.

She didn't answer right away, but when she did, she almost sounded like she was stating a fact. "Am I just like those _others _to you as well?"

"No!"

"Then why didn't you come back! What are you hiding from me again?"

"The exact same thing!"

His eyes widened in horror. So did Yuna's.

'_God Tidus you did not just say that! It's been what? Eight hours and already you're screwing this up… '_

"Wh-what? The exact same thing as what…?" Yuna asked eagerly, her tone abruptly dying down quickly realizing that by the expression on his face that he must have let some part of his secret slip between the cracks.

"I-It's nothing, Yuna…don't worry about it." He said, jumping up from the bed as he did so and quickly grabbing his yellow boots. "I'm going to be late; Wakka wanted me to help out with blitzball practice today. I'd better get going." With that Tidus practically jumped at the door, afraid that if he stayed a moment longer, he would definitely end up unconsciously confessing everything to her and in turn almost certainly smashing what small and incredibly fragile confidence she had into thousands of pieces. But at the rate he was going, just by _not_ telling her, he seemed be achieving the same goal anyway.

Tell her what the Fayth said and risk a possible emotional breakdown…

Don't tell her and have Yuna violently avoid him for the rest of his life (which could be a week for all he knew…) because she thought he was lying.

It was a lose/lose situation. Until this matter was fixed, he was going to have to surrender all contact with Yuna, an idea which, all in itself was enough to make him sick.

The once obedient souls of the aeons had assured Tidus that they would speak with him again 'soon', but just **how **soon was the big question. The Fayth couldn't have been possibly any vaguer then that, Tidus had concluded later on. Now that he had already given away a hint of what may happen to him, (no matter how subtle) he was sure that he could only keep this charade up for a fortnight at maximum before he finally collapsed under the guilt of having to watch Yuna cry over what he was doing to her. It wasn't even half-way through the first day and already he was having trouble managing his secret keeping capabilities…

He had to stop thinking. He had to get out.

He was already turning the knob.

"Wait…please."

Tidus didn't turn around; instead, he merely just stopped and waited for her to continue.

"Tell me something," she began, her voice sounding almost defeated and rather submissive, "what _did_ you come back for exactly?" Again he didn't reply straight away, nor did he even move. He slowly opened the door, allowing his forehead to rest on the old wood as he pondered his answer, a few awkward, silent minutes past before he eventually chose to speak.

"I came back for you. I love you Yuna…I guess things just…aren't going as I…planned though." He replied distantly, paying an abnormal amount of attention to the few flakes of timber on the otherwise smooth frame which he tampered with using his fingers. He almost laughed at himself, or, more specifically, how stupid he must look to her right now.

"It's ironic isn't it?" He said, laughing slightly.

"What?"

"The one thing you want, no matter how much you give up, it seems that you can never **ever **have it."

"Wha-"

"Never mind," Tidus interrupted harshly, mentally kicking himself for once again getting so caught up in his emotions and thoughts that he let something else sneak out by accident. He shouldn't have stopped, but the tone in her voice was so…scared and small that he felt like he just had to listen. He stood upright and walked outside, afraid to spare Yuna even a glance for fear of what he might see. It took all of his strength not to look. Silently he was yearning to pick her in his arms and whisk her off to some far away place where it would just be the two of them, away from all of this mess. They would be happy and never argue…

But it was nothing more than a fading dream…exactly like he was…

This time, Yuna didn't stop him; she chose to simply watch his retreating form while her expression of saddened perplexity at his strange behavior stayed behind…

"…_I love you," _he had said to her.

'_Prove it…'_

Somewhere from within the village, the Fayth was watching. He kept his ever focused gaze locked on the blonde blitzer and noticed the very thing he was afraid of, already Tidus was showing the symptoms of his condition. In his haste to get to the beach, he obviously hadn't noticed, but his lower left arm was fading in and out of transparency. Bahamut shook his head slowly in dismay; he would have to be the one to tell him he didn't have much time left. It was always him when it came to things like this…the rest of the Fayth had been talking and brainstorming for what had seemed like forever and they still always seemed to come up empty handed.

However…there was **one** alternative, but the ever young child was sure that the couple would not agree to it…they would have to sacrifice too much.

To keep Tidus alive, he would have to lose everything he ever knew. Because the aeons were somewhat of a novice at reconstructing a dead person, his form had been rebuilt poorly, causing it to eventually start deteriorating. Unfortunately though, the negative energy and feelings created by the several arguments they already had had only made the process go even faster, hence their current predicament.

He needed to talk to **both** of them. He wanted desperately to give them more time, but they literally had none. He just hoped everything turned out okay. After everything Yuna had been through, she deserved to be happy no matter what that entailed, but there was _no other_ choice…they had been cornered.

'_I'm sorry.'_

* * *

**A/N: **Hey everyone! Long time no see! JAPAN WAS AWESOME! Sorry that it took me so long to update, a combination of recovering from travel, school starting once again. (I'm grade 12 people! Last year of High school ever!) And being just plain old exhausted, kind of left my writing right down the bottom of my list. As you can see from the update I have just given you, I am not deleting this story because while I was in Japan, I became aware just how many people are enjoying it and also, I managed to fix the plot up. Unfortunately, because in Australia, Grade 12 is a very big deal, my updates are sure to be all over the place. While I will endeavor to upload chapters as soon as I can, with the workload I have to take on this year, I can't promise anything. I love all of you guys and you can be assured that I will be reading a lot of stories (and reviewing them of course!), just not necessarily writing them :P Thank-you so much all of you for your support and reviews, as they have all been treasured and will continue to be with each new chapter. I **PROMISE** you all that will be the last angsty bit for awhile and I will be doing some fluffy stuff for the next few chapters.

Oh and to just give you guys a warning, depending on how I feel about it (and if I can actually do it!) This story's rating **_may_ **go up to "M" within the next couple of chapters. I went through my storyline and for it to have the desired effect; it really does look like I may have to write some kind of lemon-ish scene. (Cringes at the thought ) If you guys could give me some tips or help with it, I would really appreciate it because I'm really nervous about it. --;

My email address is on my profile page or just review! Thanks again!

**Special thanks go to these brilliant people who reviewed my last chapter:**

De4thNIte, crazycutie2, Dragon Girl, Yunafan15, Alexie91, Dancing Summoner, GoldDigger, Pringles, CazzaCat, Sam, digitalgirl89, CrimsonOkami, Tiyuri, Nikki of Spira, Lucy, ffxfan, TgIiDgUiS, Al Bhed Sweetie, Obsidian Crystal and Secret and Strange Angel.

Thanks guys and you all know the drill!

**ENJOY **and **REVIEW!**

Warui-Usagi


	6. Confessions of Love and Sacrifice

**Her Shattered Heart: Chapter 6**

**Confessions of Love and Sacrifice**

Tidus began storming furiously toward the beach, muttering incoherently under his breath. That was it, now he felt like he would have to go into hiding until he eventually faded away. After what had just happened in Yuna's hut, he was sure that his cryptic behavior was going to set off some unwanted alarm bells, and he had no intention of being anywhere near the village when that happened.

As his pace quickened, so did this thoughts. What if he should have just told her what was going on? Was keeping this secret really worth all the trouble it was currently causing their relationship? (Or what was left of it anyway!) He had never been in a _real _relationship with a girl before. Every other time had just been a one night stand, the only proof that he had indeed slept with a women would be the still faintly warm linen on the empty side of the bed, never even having _breathed _the word 'goodbye' to a single one of them. So, in the commitment department, it was fair to say that he was quite inexperienced. The girls he had been with had never wanted anything more from him, merely taking pleasure in the fact that he was famous. And Tidus was disgusted to admit to himself that he used that to his full advantage; using their obsession with him as a celebrity as an outlet for his physical desires. He knew that Yuna was angry about it, and he was ashamed for what he had done, but he knew that there was nothing he could do to change his past actions.

He threw his arms into the air in frustration, about to slam them against the cliff when instead of feeling searing pain shooting up through his biceps from the force of the contact, he felt…nothing. He stumbled slightly, his groping hand still unable to find something to latch onto to steady himself and as a result, he landed hard in the dirt.

"What the…?"

"It's happening," said a quiet, saddened voice, emitting from somewhere behind him.

Tidus jumped a little, alarmed by the intrusive sound of another person but upon turning to face them, he instantly wished he hadn't.

"W-what's happening?" Tidus questioned breathlessly.

"Look," the hovering ghost child simply offered, raising a small finger slowly in order to point at the blitzer's arm.

He gulped loudly before grudgingly beginning to follow the boy's line of direction, anticipation and fear rising in his chest with each inch of skin his eyes covered, afraid at what he may see.

_But in the back of his mind, he already knew what the problem was…he just didn't want to admit it._

Upon reaching his target, he winced loudly and abruptly tore his gaze away… it was what he was afraid of…the Fayth was right…it was indeed happening…he was fading. Fighting back a mixture of angry outbursts and an onslaught of tears knowing all too well that it was pointless and wouldn't help, he looked up at the transparent figure as look of pure desperation and grief radiated from his eyes…Bahamut didn't need to be psychic to know what Tidus was asking…

"You have three days left," he stated solemnly, glancing down on the dream with pity. "Might I suggest you use it as best you can…even if you choose the supposed solution we've come up with, you would still lose just about everything you ever knew…"

"Three days…but there's a solution?" he asked hopefully.

"Don't worry about it for now; I will talk to both of you later about it, but first I think you should go and talk with Yuna. Tell her everything and then come and find me. I'll be in the temple…what needs to be disgusted can only be said in private." The child spirit then ushered him towards the village before promptly disappearing and leaving him alone, his head swimming in too many problems…again.

'_I really wish he'd stop doing that.'_

* * *

Yuna hated waiting.

In fact, she didn't even know why she was waiting. _'It's not like he's coming back anytime soon and even then, he won't come back to me…'_

She began to feel another fresh assault of tears biting at the corners of her eyes. She shouldn't have said what she did, but considering the circumstances she couldn't help it, it was imperative for her to know why he was lying. The fight they had earlier was just another painful walk down memory lane for her…there he was, not telling her anything about what was going on and why he was acting the way he did…just like two years ago. The last time that happened he disappeared, and Yuna was painfully aware that history does repeat itself. The only reason Yuna had brought it up was because she was feeling quite insecure. She had also hoped to maybe coax some more information out of him, but it only seemed to suffice as a method for making him feel irritated and obviously guilty. If he was going to leave her again, she had to know exactly why. Was that too much to ask? Why was he being like this?

She would be lying to herself if she said that it didn't bother her…it did. The thought of her supposed 'boyfriend' (for all intensive purposes) having had relations with not just a few, but _many_ other women was more then a little disturbing. Knowing that those lips she had craved almost constantly since his return had caressed multiple girls' skin…she knew she was being stupid but it made her insanely jealous.

She couldn't exactly explain why she was being so skeptical of him. He seemed to be genuine in his every attempt and gesture at making her happy, but for some reason, ever since his return, Yuna could help but feel that something was wrong…something wasn't right but she could never place it. At first, she had thought that it was him. That maybe he had done something or was indeed doing something deceptive because, whenever he was around, it was almost as if there was an uneasy sense of foreboding awaiting them on the horizon…like he shouldn't even be alive…

And because of that constant feeling, she was always on edge. Always blaming him for her nervousness because (for whatever distorted reasoning she was using) it was all his doing. He **wanted **to leave her. But after examining his behavior from their previous fight, she wasn't so sure anymore…

Suddenly, she heard the door to her room creak, the light steadily growing through the crack as it opened wider. Instantly, she reacted by throwing a pillow over her head, successfully blocking the harsh glare hurting her eyes, and covering up her absolutely miserable expression.

"It's okay Lulu, I'm fine. I'm just…tired." She said unenthusiastically, he voice muffled by the thick bed linen hiding her head. The figure made no attempt to move, or even speak. Instead they closed the door behind them, but they weren't on the opposite side like she wanted them to be, instead they were now sharing occupancy with her in the darkened room, making their way to the foot of her bed and easing themselves down gingerly next to her. Now she was angry, why couldn't her guardian just understand that she wanted to be by herself for once?

'_Go away…'_

"Please Lulu…I just want to be left alone…" she managed to strangle out through an incredibly tight throat, fighting to keep at bay the tears that were threatening to flood her already water logged eyes.

'_Why does love have to hurt so much…?'_

"I'd leave you be, but well…lets just say it wouldn't help the situation," a voice alleged from behind her rather lame defense, with a slight mocking tone to it. She didn't have to peer around the corners though to know who it was.

"What do you want Tidus?" She hissed, although there was a hint of surprise evident in her voice, a clear indicator to Tidus that Yuna must have really believed that he had no intention of coming back.

"To apologize," he announced bluntly, "and to…" his mouth had all of a sudden gone quite dry, unable to explain his predicament. His mind continuously kept stumbling over his words, unable to find a suitable way of toning down the seriousness of the matter.

'_Just say it Tidus…the Fayth said there was a solution, so why are you hesitating?'_

Yuna had noticed that he's been unusually quiet for awhile now and she was feeling quite uncomfortable in the silence of his thoughts. Slowly she began to lower the pillow from her face as she stared at him intently. "And to what?" she snapped, curious to know what it was that he was struggling with.

He laughed then, more a mechanical snicker then a genuine sounding giggle. He slowly forced his stiff fingers through his hair contemplating why he was being so hesitant. "I'm so stupid."

Yuna let out an exasperated groan. "Is _that _what you had to tell me?"

"No." He straightened himself up so that he could look at her. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying, tear trails still damp on her face…an all round upset and angry aura…he didn't want to tell her what was happening when she was like this…not like this. "I'm sorry." He risked stretching an arm out to cup her cheek, worrying that she would slap it away in disgust…she didn't. Instead she lent into his palm, allowing his warmth to heat her chilled skin, despite her brain's persistence in saying that she was being too submissive and forgiving when in fact she should be livid. And she was. But he hadn't touched her in so long…

Instantly after only gauging her reaction for only a few seconds, he boldly lent in and kissed her, immediately erasing any and all signs of resentment and irritability in her mind almost straight away, to Yuna's chagrin. She wanted to be angry, to scream, yell and hit him…but the taste of his lips was so intoxicating, she couldn't have pulled herself away even if she tried. This is what she had wanted from him all along, a loving, caring and somewhat _physical _relationship that entailed his participation…that was all.

Inevitably the kiss began to deepen as Tidus' hands slowly began exploring and wandering over her body, an action that was both riveting and downright horrifying to Yuna all at once…no one, especially not a man had touched her like this before, and she was more then a little nervous because of it. He just wanted to show her that he loved her, all too aware of the fact that his stupid words couldn't do it, and with what little but valuable time he had left, he was determined to show her exactly how he felt.

Deciding to push it ever so slightly further, Tidus managed to sneak his tongue carefully in-between her lips, causing Yuna to yelp a little in surprise. At first, she found it a most peculiar and strange feeling, as of course she had never experienced anything like it before. But she quickly grew to enjoy the sensation and decided to in the heat of the moment, mimic his actions and return the gesture, timidly slipping her own small tongue into his mouth, causing Tidus to let out a muffled chuckle. She could be so cute when she was still trying to maintain her innocence.

She pulled away abruptly, coming to the conclusion that he was laughing because she had done something wrong. Her face was rapidly turning a shade of dark crimson as she tried to turn away, beyond the point of embarrassed. Tidus' mirth instantly ceased when he saw her reaction.

"What's wrong?" He asked his voice suddenly full of concern.

"Why were you laughing at me? What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. I just thought that you were being incredibly cute just then, that's all." He stated matter-of-factly before reaching up to remove a few errant strands of coffee brown hair from her delicate face. Yuna's discomfort was gone as quickly as it had arrived as she waited with pure anticipation for his touch. She allowed her eyes to flutter close as a beaming a mischievous smile began to dance menacingly on her lips.

But it never came…

Tidus watched with utter horror as his lean forearm passed right through her cheek and emerged on the other side of his head. He tried desperately not to scream…not to make a any kind of sound that would alert his lover, whose eyes were still thankfully closed and yet, he couldn't help but let a small gasp slip from his lips. At the sound, Yuna's eyes snapped open, twisting the once blissful reverie she had created into an unimaginable nightmare.

For the second time since his return, Yuna's pilgrimage flashed incoherently before her eyes…in particular Tidus' first fading…it was all going so fast…

_The first time she met him across the campfire in Besaid…_

_When he had screamed in Kilika…_

_When he had taught her to whistle in Luca…when they had laughed…_

_When they watched the sunset together on the Mi'hen Highroad…_

_When he had saved her from the Al Bhed on the Moonflow…_

_When she had told her guardians on the Thunder Plains that she was going to marry Seymour…he was furious…_

_When he had rescued her from her sham wedding and carried her safely out of the chamber of the Fayth…_

_Their kiss in Macalania…_

_His vows… 'Just whistle and I'll come running. I promise.'… 'Not until the end…always.'_

She suddenly remembered why she had loved him so much…

_The final battle…_

_The sending…_

_His form slowly fading…_

It burns…

_Her running to embrace him, but feeling nothing other then the cold, hard and unwelcoming steal surface below…_

She knew it…so this was what he was hiding…

_He dived off the platform, fading into the seemingly eternal wall of orange clouds…_

Not again…

"NO!" Yuna screamed whilst rapidly shifting to the side to remove Tidus' shimmering appendage from the depths of her cheekbone. She tried to slip out from under him, but apparently it was just his arm that had gone completely see-through as the rest of his upper body was effortlessly holding her in place. She had to get away…she needed time to think. The abrupt shock of what had happened was too much for her brain to process and quite frankly, she didn't want to let it all sink in…not now…not ever.

"Yuna, you need to calm down and not worry-"

"Not **worry?** What the hell is wrong with you! You're disappearing right in front of me and you're telling me not to **worry!**" She struggled fruitlessly against his grasp, confused and absolutely fuming at how he was being so calm. "You kept this from me…again," she whispered, her voice thick with the sob rising in her throat. "Why?"

"'Cause like I said, there's nothing to worry about." He smiled slightly to try and lighten the mood, but this only seemed to fuel Yuna's anger as she allowed the tears to fall freely down their moist paths on her face. "Why are you doing this? You're only making me more upset the more you say you don't care-"

"I never said I don't care," Tidus interrupted harshly, trying to stop her from becoming too spiteful, "I said you don't have to be so upset."

She lined up an argument and was about to protest about his obvious selfishness when he suddenly swooped in quickly and silenced her with a forced kiss on lips. At first, she was absolutely infuriated with him and upon reflecting, it only made her madder. But then the realization that he could very well disappear in a matter of minutes hit her like an anvil falling from a tall building…she wanted to reprimand him, they needed to talk, she was angry… but the sad truth was that he could very well not be there for it.

Along with the anxiety and fear, Yuna's love for her guardian erased everything within reason and thinking. Soon she was consumed by her desperation and need…her lust for him. She latched onto him with new found courage, more rogue tears carelessly washing over her cheeks. Tears of exactly _what _though, Tidus was unable to decipher. He guessed that she was just worried about him disappearing. This time though, it was her without any hesitation as she daringly deepened the kiss, continuing where they had left off minutes before.

And just as her hands snuck under the waterproof fabric for his shirt…they were interrupted…

"I hope I'm not disturbing anything."

They completely froze at hearing an intrusive voice, both of them making every attempt not to move. Lulu and Wakka were sure to be quite irate with the both of them. They weren't married yet and were already considering going _there_. Of course, with the way they were positioned just now, their actions spoke more then words, and Yuna knew there would be little chance of convincing her older 'siblings' otherwise.

Tidus slowly eased himself off her; careful to make sure he wasn't groping anywhere he shouldn't have been so the black mage wouldn't disembowel him on sight for 'degrading' or 'taking-advantage-of-her-innocence.' Yuna bolted upright straight away, getting ready to defend what she was doing. She may have been doing the wrong thing morally, but she was far from oblivious to what they were carrying out…what they were **about **to do. She wasn't stupid, and despite the disagreements they had had earlier, and her logical side chastising her for being so easily manipulated by Tidus' inappropriately timed make out sessions, she had been perfectly aware of the situation.

"Now before you get angry Lulu…" She trailed off as she saw who it was, her expression hardened at the sight as her anger immediately returned. "You! You lied to me…"

"Lady Yuna…forgive us."

"Why did you break a promise you knew you couldn't keep…?" As just as quickly as it had come, the anger in her voice gave way to passiveness and sorrow, her shattered heart echoing in her voice. "I don't want to lose him…not again…not ever."

"We know, but even if he stays, you will lose him…in a sense." The Fayth admitted bluntly with a hint of sympathy in his voice. Yuna picked up on it and was more then a little offended. "I don't want your pity. All I want is your word that he will stay."

"Well that depends on what solution you both choose." The boy spoke confidently, giving Yuna a somewhat false sense of security…a security she wouldn't have for long, once he explained things fully to her. But in order for them both to make the right decision, they needed to be cogent and level-headed. The last thing she needed was to be when he told them was irrational and acting purely on impulse (which was bound to happen at some point anyway.)

Yuna scoffed. "Of course I'm going to pick the option in which he stays!"

"It's not that simple."

"That's it I have had enough! Why do you always have to speak in riddles? Why can't anyone just talk straight without feeling the need to lie to me! I'm sick of it!" She screamed hotly. "I'm tired of feeling so insecure all the time about everything about my life…so please, just tell me outright what's happening." She was sick of it all; Tidus' dishonesty, the Fayth's austere nature, her constant caution and discrepancy at everything going on around her…everything. She almost felt like she was incapable of leading a quiet and peaceful existence, and the thought to say the least, thoroughly bothered her.

"As you wish it, Lady Yuna," The sprit seemingly sighed in defeat and hopelessness before he continued, but no expression on his face provided enough evidence to support the theory. Yuna looked on intently as he spoke, never once removing her eyes from his.

"Tidus' form has become quite unstable and as a result, he is beginning to fade." He said ingenuously. Once again his voice never strayed from its flat and mellow tone, even as he watched Yuna's reaction to the news. It had hit her straight on, but she was determined for once to not allow anyone to see the side effects. She swallowed hard and began to speak with quite a shaky voice.

"W-What's going to…happen to him?" _That _thought struck a delicate chord in her heart and she winced at the pain as she endeavored to keep her gaze steadfast on the floating figure in front of her. The ghost continued on with the explanation, again in the same emotionless tone and Yuna began to wonder if indeed it was _all _of the boys' spirit hovering there, or just what remained of his shell, so to speak (if that could ever be considered possible)…maybe these past two years in the Farplane had gradually broken down what he was and left nothing but his familiar 'outer' form.

…Or maybe he just dealt with grief this way…it was a plausible scenario. After all, just how many summoners' had he been forced to watch sacrifice themselves in his thousand years as an aeon…?

"Well," he started, waiting for Yuna's attention to return, "He will either disappear or-"

"Or what?" Tidus abruptly cut in, reminding the ex-summoner not only of his presence, but what she was also attempting to protect…their future.

"Or, we attempt to reconstruct you and hope that all goes well. But I'm sure as you would know; there would be large risks involved."

"Like what?" They both asked anxiously in unison.

The Fayth took his time to answer, knowing that this would be the final and most likely devastating blow…but only for Yuna. Tidus would never truly feel the extent of the effect it would have on them.

"Namely…whilst we are rebuilding you, you would suffer a great amount of memory loss."

"WHAT!" Tidus exclaimed, obviously pissed off. "Is that really necessary?"

"Yes."

"Why…? I don't understand…" It was Yuna this time; her voice had lost the strength and dominance it had held before and had once again become nothing more then a timid whisper. She wasn't crying though, as she once again dared to face the young male soul suspended just above her head. Her eyes bore into him, her sadness, bewilderment and concern all reflected through her gaze, struggling to reach him.

But it was a lost cause.

"When we rebuilt him from his memories, it was an experiment. We had never done anything like it before and we were worried that something like this would happen, although of course, we wish it were not so." Yuna nodded, acknowledging him that she understood and also signaling for him to continue. "As you can see, his form has become unstable and is in desperate need of attendance before he fades completely. The only reason we offer you this latter option Lady Yuna, is because after what you have done for us, the undead, and for the whole of Spira…you deserve to have a chance at being happy."

For the first time since she had spoken with him, he actually sounded genuinely thankful and for that, she was happy. But her smile faded as she realized the choice she had to make. But was there really one? She wanted him to stay, and he obviously wanted to as well, but he would lose everything they had shared…memories that were so important to them both. But what else could they do? There was no other alternative…she felt like a mouse that had been cornered with no way out.

The Fayth watched her fight her inner struggle and tried to soothe what was already going to be difficult decision. "His memory will gradually return as we recreate his inner being. At first, he will be most helpless as only his 'shell' will be there. The image of a person is easy to generate, it's what makes them their own individual and person that is complicated and very difficult to simply just 'make'. If you choose this option milady you will have three days to spend together before we start the procedure."

"So, he'll slowly regain his memory, but what's the other risk?" Yuna asked feeling slightly worried as to what he may say.

Again the Fayth chose not to say anything, hoping that she may discover the second possibility of problems on her own terms. But she didn't.

He sighed.

"There is the rather evident danger to your relationship. Whilst in his temporary state of amnesia, he won't remember you…he won't remember any connections he had with you or any of your friends. You mustn't force yourself upon him either, that will only anger and confuse him in his fragile and simple state. During that time, it is also possible that he may attach himself to-"

"I understand." Yuna interrupted callously not needing any further elaboration. She turned to Tidus for the first time since the conversation began, meeting his brilliant azure orbs in the dim light flowing through the room. He was afraid. He had understood the last thing that the boy had said just as well as her. He was terrified of betraying her without actually being aware of what he was doing. She was scared he would do it too. They stayed in that uncertain silence for awhile, neither of them having the guts to talk.

"What do you think?" Yuna said suddenly, hoping to move everything along quickly before she regretted her decision.

"Well, it's not like we have a choice really…at least I'll have you to myself for the next three days," He said optimistically. She tried to smile at his suggestion, but the wait of the issue at hand prevented her from doing so and in turn, Tidus' mischievous smile vanished as she turned to face the Fayth, ready to give her answer.

"We'll do it," she announced, her entire posture and tone of voice screaming 'defeated.' It had been only two seconds and already, immediately after saying those words she was regretting everything…

She could only hope that they had _both _made the right selection.

'_Yevon help me…'_

* * *

**A/N: **OMG! I actually updated! Okay, okay, before you come after me with your torch and pitchforks for not updating in so long, my school work is going to beat you to it.Ugh! I'm telling you, the homework and assignments are crazy and with assessment just around the corner, this being my LAST year in high school and EVERYTHING counting towards my final score that determines whether or not I can go to university and continue studying Japanese hanging over my head, updates I'm afraid may be a little…delayed. Also, I made the idiotic decision of deciding to start another story over the Christmas holidays and I also have to be updating that one as well. ARGH!

**IMPORTANT NOTICE: **Nothing but fluff in the next 3 chapters:)

The next update for this story however (because I'm so anxious to write it :P) should be in the next couple of weeks. Just after my first exam for the year.

But I promise I will not leave either story hanging like some authors do. (I really hate that! XD)

So please enjoy and review…constructive criticism is welcome, just no flaming please.

Thank-you all so much for your continued support and kind words.

Warui-Usagi


	7. Too Early to Say Goodbye

**Her Shattered Heart: Chapter 7**

**Too Early to Say Goodbye**

A/N: I'm just as surprised as you are…I've had three consecutive cups of coffee at 2 o'clock in the morning, and this is the result. It could be crap, I don't know, but, meh. Below is the quote that got my little hyper fingers typing. I suppose you could call it inspiration, but I swear it's the caffeine. I have a good month of holidays starting in 2 weeks, so I should be able to get stuck in and write this story…I hope. Until then, I hope that this is enough to tie everyone over. Enjoy.

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_Desire even in its wildest tantrums,_

_Can neither persuade me it is love,_

_Nor stop me wishing that it were.'_

W.H Auden (1907-1973)

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Everyone was happily chattering away. Tidus and Wakka, true to form were engrossed in an argument about blitzball. Something about which teams were going to provide the most competition at the big tournament this year, and Lulu would chip in with a sly and witty comment every now and then about the boys being 'overly obsessive' with such an insignificant thing. This would allow for a unified "You just don't understand," coming from the two blitzer's in question.

The invite to Lulu and Wakka's house had been a last minute decision; the black mages excuse being that she had made too much food. After what happened that afternoon, the ex-summoner had no intention of going as her mood could be described as unpredictably depressive. She honestly believed that she hadn't the strength or even the mental capacity to handle idle banter amongst her friends. But Tidus had insisted upon it so as to not arouse suspicion to their troubles…and so here they were.

Yuna however, couldn't even manage a slight smile, and Tidus' cheerful mood was, to be blunt, starting to get on her nerves. She couldn't believe how calm he was being after the Fayth's revelation and the fact that he was acting so oblivious and complacent was more then a little insulting. Her immediate dejection that had formed over the last few days instantly welled into anger as she clutched her fork tightly in her palm, turning the rosy pink skin on her knuckles a shade of white ivory.

Tidus laughed…

That was it…

She jumped to her feet abruptly, sending the chair she was sitting on a moment ago crashing into the wall behind her. Everyone's cheerful gossip ceased then as all eyes came to rest on her. They watched her carefully, all adapting a somewhat puzzled expression as to what may have caused what was apparently a furious outburst. Eyes shifted uneasily as they attempted to read Yuna's feelings, but it was next to impossible to interpret her downcast gaze. Tidus stared after her especially worried. In an effort to console her unknown anger, he reached a loving arm out across the table to show his support, but she quickly snapped it away, still refusing to look at him.

"Lulu, I'm done eating…I'll head home now," she announced solemnly as she began making her way into the kitchen. Her blonde haired blitzer who was obviously confused and irritated, tried to go after her but was held back by a surprisingly strong, black sleeved hand.

"I'll go," the black mage declared bluntly, easing her friend back down into his chair. She smiled slightly and gave him a reassuring wink when she saw the look of utter helplessness on his face. "It's girl talk."

Wakka gave a reassuring grin to his teammate, slapping him over the shoulder affectionately. "You should know as well as I do brudda that you don't wanna get mixed up in that kinda thing, ya?"

Tidus didn't look at the flaming haired Besaidian and instead continued to silently plead with both of the ex-guardians that they would just let him go and talk to her…they didn't know what was happening…they didn't know what she was going through…

Upon realizing that they had no intention of relenting, he sighed to himself, defeated. He gave a slight nod to acknowledge Lulu's plan before slumping over in his chair and throwing his head into his hands…

'_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all…'_

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Yuna threw her plate down on the bench, trying her hardest to stop the tears. She turned the faucets of the sink on as hard as they would go to muffle the sound of her whimpers. Everything was falling apart. It was better in that naïve moment of bliss they shared together on the beach just yesterday. She wanted everyday to be like that…but it seemed that it never would be. His return had brought about a new danger…to her. She was slowly crumbling behind this façade she had put on for her friends. She wouldn't last much longer…

"Yuna?"

She instinctively bit her lip, struggling to compose herself. Lulu and Wakka couldn't know. It would just make things worse. The young ex-summoner was in no shape to face her 'sister' so instead she remained still, her gaze firmly locked on the uniform patterned tiles in front of her.

"What's up Lulu?" She asked with as much genuine curiosity as she could muster considering the circumstances at hand. The raven eyed women only stood on the spot in silence, waiting for her to reveal everything on her own terms. She wasn't stupid. Something was going on…her display at the table had more then hinted that fact to both her and her husband.

"Why don't you tell me?" She countered; the slight movement of her head causing the bells in her hair to ring softly. "He's obviously made you upset. What did he do?"

'_He pretended like nothing was wrong…like it doesn't matter if he disappears or not…he won't touch me…he won't do anything! That's exactly it! He's not doing anything! In fact, he should be the one in here at the moment. Not Lulu…'_

"He's done nothing, Lulu…**_absolutely_** nothing."

"Yuna-"

"I'm fine. Really…I'm just going to go for a walk okay? Can you tell Tidus that for me?" The black mage gave up then. Her friend obviously didn't want to talk about it and she knew how persistently stubborn she was. The only thing the retired guardian could do was fulfill her request, much to her chagrin. She sighed.

'_You can't keep shutting people out, Yuna. It's not healthy…'_

"Okay…if that's what you really want," she grumbled obviously annoyed as she shrugged. Yuna simply ignored her friend and left, making her way out of the small building and made her way over towards her own dwelling. They couldn't keep going like this…not with only three days left to actually enjoy each others company.

They needed to talk, that much was obvious. So Yuna waited.

It wasn't long afterwards that Tidus made his entrance, almost running through the door to find out what had happened over dinner. He eventually found her sitting on their bed, looking a little more than angry. He sort of understood why she was acting this way, but wasn't completely sure…all he could really do was ask.

"What was that all about?"

She responded swiftly, "You should know the answer to that question already."

He shrugged, pretending to be indifferent. "Do you want to elaborate on that a little more perhaps? I _am_ blonde you know."

The young brunette sighed, annoyed and unappreciative of his joking around and bitingly sarcastic tone. "We have three days left, and this is how you're behaving; like it doesn't matter…"

"Of course it matters Yu-"

"Then why haven't you touched me? Or even tried to have a proper conversation with me? Do you even want me at all?" She had managed to keep a straight face and her emotions in check, but through the dim light, the blitzer noticed the pain radiating from her glazed eyes and he immediately felt incredibly guilty for what he had done…

…which was what again?

"Is this what you're angry about?" He asked, although he was quite confident in his conviction. He bent down to her level, placing her hands in his own, rubbing them soothingly. "I thought so…but to be honest, I feel like you've been shooting daggers at me all day. I thought that if I went anywhere near you, you'd surely castrate me."

She had to laugh at that. He really was just trying to make her feel better. And she didn't deny it. She really was angry with him…but not because he'd done anything wrong…

"I don't want you to go," she said suddenly, her voice breaking on the last word. Her palms instinctively tightened in his as tears slipped from the corners of her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. He smiled ruefully at her and then looked away. "I know."

"Then don't," she blurted out on pure impulse, abruptly lurching forward. "Don't go."

"Yuna we've been through this already…you know I have to…" he trailed off, searching her intense expression. He went to stand up, but she refused to let go—resting her forehead against his out stretched tanned arm. He stood there, unmoving for a moment, waiting for her to say something.

"No…" She croaked. Her voice quite raw.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered to her softly, grinning mischievously. "You're coming over here."

"What?"

And before Yuna even knew what had happened, he yanked her from the bed, pressing her to him almost violently as he kissed her. She instantly threw her arms around his neck, pushing equally hard against his back, honestly believing that she couldn't get close enough. She could feel all common sense slowly slipping away…passion suffocating all logical thought and self control. She never wanted to let go…she tried not to think about the fact that, this could very well be the first and last time she would have him here like this…

And just like that her body took on a mind of its own; her hands slipping under the yellow fabric of his blitzball uniform and letting it slip unacknowledged to the floor beside them. Their kissing deepened, their breathing growing ragged from the lack of air. Tidus' arms had slipped down her back, resting impatiently on her hips, awaiting her permission to continue. Yuna broke away for a second which allowed him to briskly remove her white shirt before moving to capture her lips again—his heated pecks fluttering down her neck. She shuddered in his arms; her exposed torso suddenly stinging with lack of warmth.

…But apparently, things were to go no further tonight. If Yuna was ever going to have him, it defiantly wouldn't be now.

"Yuna?" A familiar voice alleged from behind the door to her bedroom. The couple instantly sprang apart, breathing heavily as they listening intently to the person who had interrupted their rather intimate and _private_ moment. At that point, Yuna wanted nothing more then to scream at who ever it was to go away, but refrained from doing so. She knew Lulu would be more then willing to take Tidus' previous grisly assumptions and turn them into reality.

"Yeah?" She called unsteadily sounding rather short of breath. If that was supposed to convince Lulu that they were merely talking, she'd failed miserably. Her arms remained crossed protectively across her chest as she kept her eyes firmly on the door. Tidus quickly bent down and tossed her white shirt at her, whilst he re-adjusted his own.

"Rikku called; she said that she'll be dropping by to visit tonight." She sounded distracted and Yuna knew that the black mage was listening closely to the sounds that she supposed that Lulu were able to hear. Once she had her shirt on securely, and Tidus also appeared decent, she made her way across the room to open the door, meeting Lulu's suspicious stare head on.

"She'll be here in an hour," she finished, scanning Yuna's expression carefully for any hints of what was happening before. The ex-summoner was all to aware of the tamed curiosity burning in her crimson eyes, but made sure that her face gave nothing away.

"Okay, _thanks_ Lulu." No matter how Yuna tried, it was impossible not to sound spiteful. Her tone caught both Lulu and Tidus off guard, but the spell-caster was quick to hide it. "You're welcome," she said simply, sending Tidus a swift death glare as well. "But Yuna I was also going to ask…I need your help. Wakka has gone to wait for Rikku on the beach so she can be safely guided back to the village. Do you think that you could mind Vidina for me while I clean up?"

That wasn't a suggestion; it was an order. Yuna silently seethed. "I'll be there soon."

Turning around and almost slamming the door, she proceeded to get herself ready for some 'quality' time with her ever attentive guardian, who surely after this little episode, would now be provoked into watching over her with an almost spy-like manner.

"You upset?" Tidus whispered gently from his position on the other side of the room.

That was an understatement, "a little I suppose."

He chuckled, strolling over casually towards her. He wrapped his arms loosely around her waist, resting his head in the crook of her neck. "I guess…she means well." He reasoned, finding it hard to come up with an excuse. They were both disappointed. A moment like that couldn't just be re-fabricated out of thin air. They would be teasing the devil to get another chance like that.

"I'm not a summoner anymore," Yuna said firmly, a slight hint of agitation laced within her statement. "She doesn't have to watch me all the time now. I don't need guardians now. I can look after myself…I just need you."

He smirked at the embarrassment in her voice. "Why don't we just tell them? Maybe then they'll leave us alone?"

"No."

"Why not?" His voice was muffled by her skin. He placed a simple kiss on her exposed shoulder. She stiffened in response.

"Because," she started, moving forward out of his unfastened embrace, her back still facing him. She didn't feel comfortable with him touching her now—not after Lulu's interruption…she was probably watching somewhere right now. "That would just complicate things."

"How?" He was starting to get irritated.

"I…I don't…want them to know that…that I-"

"Yuna!" It was Lulu, of course. She sounded angry.

"I've got to go…" Yuna said quickly, escaping much to her relief, from the conversation.

"Why don't you go down to the beach and wait with Wakka? I'm sure he'd enjoy the company." She suggested, making sure not to glance at his face on her way out.

"Wait."

He jumped in her path, holding out a strong arm as a barrier. She stopped short, unaware of the faint green glow it emitted.

"What?" She said calmly, her voice shaking.

"What didn't you want Lulu to know?"

"It doesn't matter now," she mumbled with her gaze still downcast, once again she tried to maneuver her way around and out the door.

"_I'm sorry…"_

"Don't apologize! Why can't you just tell me?" He demanded, grabbing her by the arms. He tried to look at her, but she avoided him, keeping her focus on the grey carpet beneath her feet.

"_You won't like it, but…"_

"Tidus…"

"I don't care if I don't like it; I promise I won't get mad." He coaxed, his grip tightening on her shoulders.

"_I have to start **now**_…_if I don't, you risk disappearing."_

Yuna's voice was echoing…ringing loudly in his head…why? Was he dreaming? Going crazy perhaps?

"What do you mean you have to _start_ now? Start what?" He asked, puzzled.

Yuna's head snapped up then, meeting his puzzled gaze. She was equally confused. "I never said I had to start anything," she corrected, wondering how he could have pulled that sentence out of thin air.

"_Lady Yuna. Forgive me."_

"Yes you did," he challenged, a fierce look of determination now etched on his features. He shook his head to clear it before continuing. Yuna just started curiously. "You just said 'I have to start now, if I don't, you risk disappearing.'"

"_I truly am sorry Tidus…you'll have to forget about her for awhile."_

"I don't wanna forget!" He snapped, causing the bewildered girl in his arms to jump back slightly. "Tidus what's going on?"

"_I know you don't…but you have to. You agreed to this."_

"You tell me Yuna! You say one thing and then…and then…you…" Someone's loud gasp cut him off.

"You…you're…no…th-they promised…they promised…"

"Yuna? What's going on? Why can't I see you?…" He was panicking now.

Then everything went dark.

He felt himself falling, but didn't hit the ground.

The pyreflies cried, and so did Yuna.

It was her pilgrimage all over again.

"_Lady Yuna…forgive us."_

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A/N: Had this done for a couple of weeks but I haven't posted it…for some reason that I can't remember. Oh well, -shrugs- Enjoy anyway. It's short I know, but well, I thought that I should post something for you guys anyway. R&R! Please! 


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